"Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming"

I was trying to think of a good title for this post, contemplating titles such as: "Life is gahood", "Yipee", "10 Great Things About Life Right Now", etc. But, when I went to type, the phrase from Finding Nemo's Dora, "Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming..." came to mind. Which is actually funny because I've never been a fan of that movie. Probably for two reasons; I went to see it with my cousins when after my grandma had passed away and they needed the kids to get out of the house and it was a sad time for me. So it's associated with sad feelings.  Also, I don't support kids (or fish) not listening to their parents and so Nemo probably deserved all that he went through. Like it or leave it, eh.

So, why this title? Well, life has been good lately. And I mean really good. Not just the eh, I'm good, but awesome good. As many of you know, that has not always been the case for me these past 2 years. I struggled so much, especially the first while here. I felt so alone and depleted. I was such a mess. I was mad at God. I felt so alone and mad that He would let me feel alone. Although I felt these feelings, in my mind, I knew He had never left me. My heart just needed to catch up with my head. I hate the disconnect between your heart and head sometimes! Well, recently, these past few months I have started feeling better. I am a lot happier. I don't have this cloud over me. People at church have even said, "You seem different." I was thinking, "Ya, because I'm not emo anymore." I am starting to get my old, California self back. Man was she fun! Haha.

A HUGE part of my return to my old self has been my friends, in Philly and out. Many have come to my rescue so many times: listening to me cry, buying us food, visiting me, counseling me, editing my school papers, e-mailing me everyday for 4 months, being honest with me about your trials,  even moving boxes into storage with me! (Only to have Jeff take out a day later. Haha.) I am so grateful for the AMAZING friends I have and have always had in my life. What a blessing! Heavenly Father must know I need good people to surround myself with. Reflecting about this has made me realize (in my heart) that I have never been alone. God has sent me people to bring me comfort. And of course, Jeffreylisa (a name he's not a fan of, but I was pretty impressed I came up with that all by myself), has helped me so much with his patience. I can't count how many times I said to him, "I am sorry I'm emo. I don't even know what I'm sad about but I just am." He's always been there to help me. Not that times weren't rough with us along the way, but we both knew what we wanted and that God could help us. I am not sure if any of this is making sense, but basically, life is awesome. God is wonderful and merciful. People are great.

So bringing this all back home, this all goes back to Dora's "Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming." I'm not sure if that's even the point of her phrase, since she's so spastic anyways  (I just realized Dora's probably me in fish form). But, when life is tough, and it is, no matter who you are, just keep swimming. Do not give up. God knows you are there. He loves you. He will always love you and always be there for you. And, of course, if you are reading this, please, please, please know you can always call me and I'll send you some floaties or life vest to help you until you can make it on your own.

I am so grateful for the gospel. I am grateful to have always known it is true. I am grateful for the values it teaches me. I am not always grateful for trials, but I do see their purpose and I am trying to learn to be grateful for my trials. This week is pioneer week. I am so grateful to those who went before me to help make sure I can practice my religion. I am grateful for the prophet Thomas S. Monson, and his example of kindness and charity. I am grateful for the young women program at church, even when it has made me want to rip my hair out sometimes. I am grateful for the opportunity to go to and lead EFY; it has impacted my life forever.  I am grateful for a wonderful mother. She is such an example to me. I am so grateful for my nieces and nephews. I LOVE them all. Jeff is worried I won't like our kids as much as them. I am so grateful that they have made me who I am. They have brought me so much joy over the years. I hope Elaine will come back someday. I miss her; I miss her laugh. I love the church. Most importantly, I am grateful for a God who knows and loves me. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, amen.

    A favorite line in a song I like:
    Not one of us, can fall far enough, to be out of His reach, to be out of His Love

Ps. This post turned out way different than I originally thought it would.
Pps. Finally got food stamps! Second best day of my life ever. First was the day I actually got to use them! Got a cantaloupe, gallon of milk, fancy wheat bread, and uh, one more thing... can't remember. It is super terrific to have them. I love it times a million! 

Bye Bye Binky, Binky Bye Bye

    I have a song stuck in my head right now. It goes like this, "Bye bye binky, binky bye bye...." over and over again. It is sung by Elmo. If that isn't proof that I spent my day with a 2 year old than I don't know what is. The little girl I watched today told me she had a baby in her tummy (her mom is pregnant). I told her that mommy was going to have the baby, not her. I asked if it was a boy or a girl and she said it was a boy, his name was "Free." I'm not sure if she was trying to say "He is 3" because she is turning 3 this month or that his name really is Free. Either way, pretty funny. I told her mom, her mom said the name was vetoed. The little girl likes to stick her finger in her diaper after she goes. When we were walking to change her diaper she kept trying to hold my hand. I was like, "I like you, but not that much." I told I'd hold her hand after she washed them, which we did, twice. After she sticks her finger in her diaper she likes to wipe it on her shirt, so we changed her shirt too. The mom and dad are WAY nice. By far, my favorite parents to work for. My niece Emma doesn't understand the concept of babysitting so she thinks I have a daughter.
    The sad thing is this new song from Elmo only replaced another song I had stuck in my head. One little boy named Michael got another song stuck in my head. He likes an LMFO song called "I'm Sexy and I know It."  He likes to change the words to "I'm Michael and I know it," or "I'm Miss Annalisa and I know it," or whatever the else he wants. So Ive  had "I'm Michael and I know it" stuck in my head for a few days now. Haha. He's such a cutie. It's funny to watch him dance.
When I was helping this other little boy shower yesterday his twin sister came in the room and said, "Do you want to take a picture of us?" I was baffled. I didn't understand why she was asking me that. Take a picture when? Now? Now that her brother is in the shower? Did I send off some pervert vibe or something? I just said, "I'm not sure what you mean, " to which she repeated her question. After awhile of this her brother explained what she meant. He said, "If you want to take a picture of us you can't. It's not allowed. Mommy says the babysitters can't take pictures of us. One babysitter did onetime and she got fired. " Oh. Now I understood. She was just asking the question in general, it was not at all related to the current situation. My panic quickly faded. 
The other morning my pop tart caught on fire in the toaster oven. I didn't even know it could do that. I was left without breakfast. :(  Well that's all. Tata.

Lalalife!

I've been meaning to write, but, obviously, haven't. I figure this is a good Sunday activity. So my life, huh?       
     Well, I've pretty much just been working a ton. I have been doing a lot of cleaning jobs for MyWay (a non-profit organization that does errands for senior citizens). I kinda wish they'd give me a variety of jobs. I like cleaning, but it's like when they had me gardening all the time last year- I get burnt out. And, I feel guilty when I come home after spending hours cleaning other people's homes and then come home and mine isn't sparkling clean. Oh well. Such is life.
      Nannying has been very good lately. I've mostly been doing that. My poor car has so many miles on it because I've been driving around to all these houses to babysit. I have been getting a lot of full day jobs and many of which with the same families. It's nice to work with the same families. Then I kind of know what to expect. I've had some funny kid convos lately. Here are a few:

• I work for a family that has 3 kids. I came to their house on a Saturday night when the youngest was already in bed. I had to keep reminding the daughter to speak quietly because the baby was asleep. After telling her that a thousand times I said, "You know, if you wake the baby up you'll have to take care of the baby the whole time your mom and dad are gone, right?" I was totally just joking. Then she replied, "Alright, but you're going to have to give him the breast milk because I don't have any." Then the older brother said, "Sofia, she doesn't have any breast milk!" As soon as I could recover from what was said I quickly tried to change the subject. Later on I told the mom and she said, "Oh, ya, you can tell we are very open in this house." I still laugh at that when I think of it.
• Another little girl who is super cute, but kind of feisty has developed a new habit. When we were coloring one day, out of the blue she asked, "Are you mad at me?" I said, "What? No." Now she asks that all the time. I'm not sure why she even thought I was mad at her. I mean I was kind of quiet but that's because all we were doing was coloring and listening to music. 
• I just babysat for a hilarious 8 year old boy last Friday. When I first got there he asked me, "Are you a teenager?" I said no. Later on he saw my arm hair and got all bugged eyed. (I knew he was thinking how out of control it is. I do not like my arm hair but after years of dealing with it I have kinda of decided it's not the end of the world to have it. Sorry if that's TMI, but it is what it is.) So he says, "Wow!" I said, "Uh huh," trying to ignore him. He said, "Why do you have that much hair?!" I said it was normal for people to have hair on their arms, some people just have more than others. I guess he thought the amount people have on their arms is a choice because then he said, "Wow. How long are you going to grow it?!" (As if it was the same as the hair on my head!). I laughed and told him that this was it, this was as long as my hair was going to get. Then he looked at my feet and asked why I didn't have any hair on my feet. I said people don't have hair on their feet, they have it on their legs and arms. Then he said, "Do you have to shave here?" (Motioning his upper lip). I said no. He said, "Oh, because sometimes when girls are... different, they have to shave there." I think by different he was referring to my race. His mother is from Brazil so perhaps she has to? Later on that night his dad came home. When he came home I was playing games with the kids. He said, "Wow. So you interact with the kids?" I guess the last babysitter let them watch the tv the whole time. I don't allow that. Although, I will admit, it'd be nice to just turn on the tv and tune/veg out on with some of the kids I've watched. Haha. I'm so bad, but it's so true. When we got in the kitchen the dad asked, "So what's your background?" I, remembering his wife is from Brazil immediately answered, "Oh, I'm adopted so I'm not really sure." He just looked at me like I had just spoken another language. So I realized that was not what he was asking. He said, "No. I mean, like are you in education?" I said, "Ohhh, haha. Uh, well I'm going into education?" Usually when people ask my background that's what they mean. I guess from now on I'll just ask a clarification question before answering it. 
• I had one little boy use the same piece of toilet paper to wipe himself after he peed to wipe his mouth afterward. It all happened so fast. There was no way I could stop it. He and his brother are such cuties. I was worried I wouldn't like to be a mom of boys, but if they were as cute as these two I def could. They were fun to watch play Just Dance 3.

I am sure there are more but that's all I can think of right now.
    Jeff is entering finals. After it there won't be as much book work. Yay! He'll start the clinic soon. Yay! His white coat ceremony is May 4th. My graduation is May 9th. I am getting so excited for my family to come out. Oh ya, I got an award from school. Kind of random. Here's the e-mail I got:

 

Dear Annalisa --

 It is my pleasure to tell you that you have been chosen by the faculty in American Studies as the 2012 recipient of the Robert M. Greenberg Memorial Award. That award is given to a graduating student whose work in the Program was characterized by high achievement. My colleagues in American Studies have asked me to convey their congratulations to you. In addition to its symbolism, the Greenberg Award carries with it a small amount of cash ($150).You should soon hear from our Dean's office about the May 9 Baccalaureate Ceremony at which awards will be made. Colleen Knapp, who I have copied on this email, will do some arranging with you.

Sincerely,

 Philip R. Yannella

Professor of English and American Studies

Chair of the American Studies Steering Committee 

Totally random because there wasn't a professor who I knew super well in AmSt. Well, the one I did was my capstone teacher because every time I went to her office she made me cry with all the crappy mean things she said to me. Random too because I don't feel like I rocked any one AmSt class. I told Jeff this and he said, "Oh, they probably just used your GPA." I was so sad. A GPA? That means nothing to me. After I told him that he said, "It's not called the BFF award. It's for academic achievement." :(  

We have neighbors above us now. No fun. I am super sensitive and wake up at any sound. Waa. (<--Curtisy of Tami and Nina from CPRx).  Construction still isn't done! Crazy. It's been over a year and a half. Doing a 10k (hopefully, if my knee lets me) with my friends in June. Yay. Super pumped Ellen will be coming back for a bit. Party. Back over personal progress in YW (along with 2nd counselor). Have a super good friend named Lori who I love to hang with. Still in my food stamps battle. Still need to man up and take my Praxis Two. I have decided not to do my credential program till January 2013 (instead of October 2012).  Well, pretty sure this is long enough. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. If not, oh well. Just don't come back again. Jk. Adios!

Cookies

Made cookies today. They were ehh. I accidentally spilled some dish soap on a few. Let me tell you, dish soap and cookies do not go together. Hopefully dish soap's not poisonous or anything.
Ps. The cookies were "eh" before the dish soap.

Pretty sure...

I'm addicted to doing nothing.

Just wanted to say...

     Graduating feels great!! I never realized how much stress school put on me until now that I'm done!! I have watched 3 whole movies this week. And, not only that, but not done anything while watching them (laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc). I want to do nothing forever! Not really, but for a good while at least. I'm lovin' it.
     Watching the presidential debates with Jeff has been fun and funny. I like watching them with Jeff. He is very knowledgeable. It is actually quite impressive how much he knows. He explains things that most people probably wouldn't get. And, because he explains them so well, I can understand some of the punches that are thrown at each other in the debates. It's been a fun thing to do with him. Although, I have had two wild dreams after watching the debates before bed.
      One was that I felt guilty about being an illegal citizen in America and decided to "self-deport" myself like Romney's immigration plan. So in my dream, me and these random Hispanic looking relatives that I don't have in real life, were all deporting ourselves. Only thing is, I'm not illegal! I was born in San Diego!! I knew that in my dream but for some reason I still felt guilty and that I should deport myself! The other dream was that Jeff and I wanted to invest and wanted to use a "blind trust" like Mitt has talked about in the debates. So in my dream we gave our friend Sarah our money to invest and she stole it and tried to kill us. Then when I confronted her and said, "Sarah? I thought we were friends." She said, "Ya, I wanted you to think that. The truth is, I've never really liked you." I woke up so sad. There were a bunch of crazy elements to it too as a result of watching the tv show "Lost," but I'll spare you the details. Adios!

Ps. The worst part is I have a problem with my third paragraph in this post because the first sentence should be the topic sentence of the paragraph and mine def is not!

Some people are just....

Can I just say some people are A plus plus? I mean it. You meet them and you're immediately like "Wow. They are awesome!" Today my new friend came over and I thought this exactly. She is just really great. She is kind, funny, understanding, and more than anything, is a disciple of Christ. I am so grateful to have her in my life.