Side note: It was
interesting, because I thought after 18 months of not talking to her on the
phone it would feel weird or I would have this huge emotional reaction, but I
didn’t and neither did she.
The rest of the day was
pretty normal. I had an induction date scheduled for the following night at 8
p.m. so I was trying to get as much done as possible before then. I was due June
6th/7th and when the baby didn’t come I was actually OK with it. In some ways I
wanted to have the baby out so I could see him, and so we could move, but in
other ways, I wasn’t exactly rushing to the idea of childbirth. I went for a
doctor’s appointment on Monday, June 9th and that was when the
doctor scheduled an induction date for that Sunday, June 15th. Going in on the
15th meant the baby probably wouldn’t be born until the 16th and I was a little disappointed because the 15th was Father’s Day. I
thought the baby coming on Father’s Day would be the perfect gift. However, I
was grateful that the doctor scheduled my induction date for the 15th
because she had told me over and over again that her office did not give inductions until the mother was
14 days past due, which meant June 20th at the earliest. As soon as I had the induction scheduled, I
had in my mind that the baby wasn’t coming until then so I would have plenty of time to
do what I needed to before he came. That is why that Saturday, the day before I
was supposed to go in to the hospital, I was running around trying to get last minute things
done.
I had just come back up from
carrying a large chair down to the basement and was packing up our bookshelf
when my water broke at 6:30 p.m. I was a little confused; I wasn’t sure if it
had broken or if I had lost bladder control like many pregnant women do and accidentally wet themselves. I called my friend, Heidi, who used to be a labor
and delivery nurse, and she came over to check if my water had broken. She said
she thought it had but couldn’t say for sure. She suggested we go in to the
hospital. I was torn because I know so many first time moms go in thinking they
are in labor when they aren’t, and I didn’t want to look dumb doing that. Heidi
said that with an induction scheduled for the next night, they would probably
keep me anyway. I called the on call doctor, told her my situation, and she
told me to come in. It was settled, we were going in.
I wasn’t in pain or anything
so we took our time. Jeff showered and ate while I finished packing my hospital
bag. It was mostly packed but I guess I wanted to review it. I hadn’t eaten yet
and heard that you don’t get to eat while in labor so I decided to hurry up and
eat a quick dinner. Heidi suggested that if I was going to eat, to eat
something light. I can’t remember what I had, but after I was done eating I was
still hungry. Earlier that week I had been craving a Dairy Queen blizzard and
never really got rid of that craving. I asked Jeff if we could go to Dairy
Queen and he was more than happy to oblige (I mean he would have to get one too
since we were there and all). We left the house with the hospital bag and
headed towards Dairy Queen. I wanted a Georgia Mud Slide blizzard but I am not
sure if I got that flavor or got something else once I saw what other people
had, which is very likely. (I might have gotten a strawberry cheesequake?) Whatever the flavor
was, I got a mini size to be safe. I
used a gift card from my baby shower that my friends Jen and Cassie had given
me. Thanks ladies! With blizzards in tow, we headed to the hospital.
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| Leaving for the hospital. |
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| Last childless family photo, well, sort of. |
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| A little detour.... |
The hospital, Lankenu, was
only a few miles away so we got there around 8 p.m. Luckily I had a piece of paper with instructions on it to
tell me what to do when I got there because I could never remember. When I got
to the front desk, they wanted to know if I needed a wheel chair. I said no
because I still wasn’t having any pain. We went
up to the maternity unit and I had to fill
out a ton of paperwork. I was grateful I was not in pain because otherwise I
would have never been able to fill out all that paperwork! I asked the nurse
how women who were actually in labor pain were able to fill out the forms and she said that the women just do. I’ll take their word for it and hope the next
time I give birth I am not in pain when they ask me to fill out all of the
paperwork. That, or somehow have the papers filled out ahead of time!
The nurses asked me if I was having contractions; I said I didn’t know because I didn’t. I wasn’t in any pain and just the week before was having contractions when I didn’t know I was. When I went in to get my stress test, the nurse asked me if I was having any contractions. I told her no. She pointed to the machine and said that I was actually having a contraction right then. I had heard contractions felt this way or that, but it turns out mine never felt that way. I just always thought I was hungry. So, I was the wrong person to be asking if I was having contractions. Hook me up to a machine and let it tell you. Towards the end of the pregnancy when people asked me if I was having contractions and I answered, “I don’t know”, they always said, “Oh, trust me, you’ll know!” Uh, wrong.
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| Just getting settled in. |
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| Hooray for ice chips! |
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| Just missing a baby in it is all.... |
The first nurse who checked me in was super sweet and I was a little disappointed to learn she would was only getting me settled in. But, I didn’t need to be disappointed because my nurse was just as kind and gentle. I am sad to say I can’t remember her name. Kate? Jeff says at one time I called her “nurse” but I so did not! I knew her name… whatever it was. She was a mother of two, had brown hair, was petite, and very personable. We got to know each other over the next 11 hours since her shift had just started at 7 p.m.
The details of the next bit
may get muddled which is OK. I had a
hard time bonding with Tyler at first and Jeff helped me realize that it was
probably due to the nature of his birth. For me, as probably with most first
time moms, it was very traumatic. Well, traumatic sounds so dramatic, but it
was extremely difficult for me.
When I got to the hospital I
was at a 2 or a 3 cm and they said the baby was very low. Everyone, including
my friend Heidi,
expected the baby to be a few pushes away once I got started. Eventually the
pain did start kicking in. I knew I wanted an epidural but I was dumb with it.
I waited longer than I should have to get it. I didn’t want the nurses to think I was being a wimp so
I stuck it out longer than I should have. I wish I would have taken my friend
Sally’s advice; Sally said to get the epidural quickly so you can sleep and be
well rested for when you have to push. My father-in-law had also told me to try to rest as much as possible. But
did I listen? No. I tried to be “tough.” Dumb.
Throughout the evening I kept
saying to the nurse, “I want to get an epidural but I don’t want to be a baby…”
I really wish she would have just asked, “Do you want it now?” I would have
said yes. Instead she would just smile and say, “Well just let me know when you
want one.” Jeff and I watched the World Cup for a while until I finally
decided to let my pride go and get the epidural. I got the shot around 3 a.m.
Goodness gracious was that ridiculous. The thing that has
always freaked me out the most about giving birth has been the epidural. I always knew I would want one, but the idea
of a huge needle going into my back scared the heck out of me! Still does. Most of my friends always said,
“When it’s time for the epidural, you’ll be in so much pain you won’t even
care, you’ll be so grateful for it.” Well, maybe I didn’t wait for the pain to
get big enough for me not to care, because let me tell you, I did care! In all
honesty, I know the reason I had such a hard time with it was because I had
worked it up in my mind. When I go to get regular shots I have to tell myself
it is OK and then it is, but I had already decided how terrible the epidural
was going to be and so it was.
The anesthesiologist was an
older, quiet man. He told me to hunch over, hug a pillow, and relax. But of
course I couldn’t relax, I had dreaded this moment for 25 years! And because I
could not relax, he could not get the needle in. He said I was too tense and
kept telling me to relax. Relaxing was never going to be an option for me. He
told me the first shot would be a shot to numb me and would feel like a bee
sting, which it did. After a few “bee stings” I asked him if the epidural was
in. He informed me it was just the numbing shot(s) and he had to keep on trying
because my tense body did not allow him to put the needle in properly. After he tried a few times and could not get
it in, I just started crying. Well, actually, I was probably crying before he
even started. And, as I was crying my
nose began to bleed. Perfect, I was hoping for that. I got nosebleeds my whole
pregnancy. They were terrible. They were thick, clumpy, tasted nasty (like
metal), and lasted for a decent amount of time.
So there I was, tired, scared,
hugging a pillow, tears and snot running down my face, and having a nosebleed
all over the pillow and nurse’s jacket. I kept apologizing to her. She was so
kind about it though, she just kept saying it didn’t matter. She said she would
take it off and then wash it when she got home. The fact that she was willing
take it off was kind because all night she had been saying how cold she was! I
guess I must have been pretty dramatic because at one point she asked me if I
was sure I wanted an epidural. I said
yes and she said, “Then we were going to have to do this.” When he kept trying to
get the needle in and I was freaking out I asked, “Am I being a baby?” He didn’t say a word. I
took that as a yes. Thankfully, the nurse said to me, “No! No you aren’t!” I
was happy she was there to boost my self esteem. After a few tries, he finally got it in. I
was extremely grateful; not because it was going to relieve pain, but because he
didn’t have to keep giving me shots.
Once I had the epidural, things
went pretty smoothly, although I still didn’t have energy to do anything else
but lay there. Many of my friends said to bring games or something to do
because labor can be long and boring. We brought games and had our computer for
Netflix. Jeff asked me if I wanted to put a movie on but I said no because I
wouldn’t be really watching it anyway. Oh ya, little did I know that we aren’t
allowed to drink water when in labor?! You get stupid ice chips! I mean I guess
I shouldn’t insult them because they kept me from dying of thirst, but just
barely! I often asked Jeff to get me ice and would try to wait until they
melted down a little in order for me to get a drink. He caught on and drank the
water out before handing me the ice chips. I also tried to breathe on the ice
chips to make them melt. Didn’t work. They did have popsicles which was nice. I
think I got stuck with a few grape flavored ones, but I was grateful nonetheless. I was surprised that
throughout my whole labor I didn’t get hungry.
At 7 a.m. it was time for my
nurse to go home. She was going to go get donuts (a Sunday tradition) and stop
by CVS to pick up a card for her husband for Father’s Day. She said that the
medicine was working and I should have the baby pretty soon. We said our
goodbyes and along came my new nurse.
Karen was the next nurse. She
was short, medium build, middle aged, had blonde hair, and ended up being the
reason I didn’t have a c-section. Because I wasn’t in too much pain, I got to
know her pretty well the few hours before I began pushing. She had been doing
labor and delivery for over twenty years. She was very kind and patient. She said
although she had been doing her job for a long time they were making it so she
had to get her BA in order to keep her job. She was very nervous about going
back to school. I understand the desire for nurses to have a BA, but a BA couldn't have made her any more helpful; she was extremely knowledgeable. By 10 a.m. they told me I was going to start pushing soon.
Because the baby was so low, everyone predicted that he would come fast. Right
before I was supposed to start pushing, the baby’s heart rate dropped. I think it was because of
the way I was laying on my side, but don’t know for sure. So I had to wait two
more hours for the baby’s heart rate to go down before I could start pushing. Around 12 or 12:30, I was
finally given the orders to push.
I pushed for two hours, but
the baby did not budge. They decided to let me rest for a bit. I think I rested
for about two hours. I pushed again for another two hours, but again, the baby
didn’t budge. By this time I was extremely tired, emotionally and physically.
Looking back, I realize that I was not doing effective pushing. I always
thought you push from your stomach muscles but it is more of the “bathroom
muscles,” as the nurse put it. I never did get the pushing and breathing right.
So confusing! Anyway, after pushing for another two hours, the nurse said she
was going to talk to the doctor and see what he wanted to do. The nurse came
back and said that they would use a vacuum on me, and if that didn’t work then they would do a c-section.
I knew I didn’t want a c-section so I was eager to make the vacuum work. To tell the truth, the vacuum sounded nice; I
was hopeful at the idea of the vacuum, as if it could magically suck the baby
out and I wouldn’t even have to push. The nurse left for a few minutes and came
back. She said that the doctor had changed his mind; I could push a little
longer and then he would just go straight to a c-section. This was an emotional
blow for me. I really didn’t want a c-section but the thought of pushing even harder
was overwhelming.
Thank goodness for my amazing
nurse. She said that with the baby’s heart rate fine and with my desire to
avoid a c-section, she didn’t see any reason to do one. She said they would
give me a booster of my epidural, let me rest for a little bit and then push
even harder to make the baby come out. That plan sounded great to me
because I really liked the idea of more meds.
When the anesthesiologist
came in to give me a booster, she said, “You know, child birth isn’t supposed
to be pain free.” Dejectedly, I said, “I
know.” I think she was trying to pump me up or
something, make me tougher, but all it did is hurt my self esteem. I felt like
she was saying I needed to toughen up. I probably did, but still, it made me
sad to hear her said that. She gave me the meds and left. After they set in,
and I rested for a little bit (not nearly as long as I had thought I would be
allowed to rest), I felt rejuvenated. I was ready to start pushing again.
This time, my nurse pulled
out all the tricks. First, she put a mirror in front of me. Initially I
resisted, but she convinced me. She said that a mirror often helped the mother
because the mother became more motivated to push when she could see the baby’s
head. And, to my surprise, it actually did help a lot. With the mirror in
place, I could see his full head of long, jet black hair. However, he still
wasn’t coming. I had progressed enough though that the doctor said I could keep
pushing and did not have to have a c-section. We did a few more things, but still no
baby. Eventually, she did the “towel
trick”.
She would hold on to one end
of a hand towel and pull while I sat up, pulled back, and pushed. The next day
I couldn’t figure out why my shoulders and arms were sore, but then I
remembered my towel pulls. In between pushing, when she told me to relax,
because I was so exhausted, I would close my eyes and start to fall asleep.
Then, she would say, “Ok, time to push again.” Although the baby was coming, he
still wasn’t here and it was the end of my nurse’s shift. I was so sad she was off, but pleasantly
surprised when my first nurse walked in. She said, “You’re still here?! We all thought you would have the
baby in the morning! I guess he just wanted to see me.” I asked her how her Father’s Day went and she
told me all about it. She took over doing the towel trick, but honestly, wasn’t
nearly as good as the other nurse. Actually, even though my second nurse was
off, she stayed around till the baby came. Well, almost two more hours of pushing and he
finally came!
A nurse put him on me, but I
was so thirsty, I just passed him off to Jeff and asked for water. I was a
little disappointed that it wasn’t this “glorious, magical moment” that is
often portrayed on TV, but I was tired! As the doctors continued to work on me,
I quickly gulped down a glass of water. By this time, Tyler was all cleaned up
and ready for me to hold him. He was so inquisitive and had huge eyes. His face
was swollen and his back all bruised, but he was healthy. He was healthy, and he
was all ours. The next day he was officially named Tyler
Boyd Lake.
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| Not gonna lie, at first I was like "He looks like an alien!" But then after the swelling went down, he looked much better. |
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| Tyler the next day. |
And so my friends, “The fun
has arrived!”
