I woke up emo and here is the consequence...

Well,
 I woke up emo, and decided maybe spitting random things on my blog might help (since it's too early to call Tk. Curse you time zones!!!) Life has been busy. It's been good, but lately I've been sad. It sucks. I hate being emo for no reason. The hardest thing is I just want my Cali friends to come and rescue me, but obviously, they can't. And I do like my Philly friends, it's just hard since they all have kids. Not that I resent them having kids, it just makes it difficult to say, "Uh, I'm having a crisis again, can you come over?" Oh well, what are ya gonna do?(Blog about it I guess. Haha).
Ps. Judy, sorry for the grammatical errors, it's too early to fix them :)

Random thoughts:

       I was listening to the radio the other day (actually, NPR, but I will leave that detail out since when I tell people that Jeff thinks I'm trying to be cool and tell people I listen to NPR. Which, isn't true, but oh well. (Ok, so maybe "Oh well" is my new favorite phrase.) But, as I was listening to the radio, I heard both presidential candidates' opinion on education. Now, mind you, I do like both canidates, I think both are decent men, trying to do they best they can for America. But, both believe there should be more teacher accountability in the classroom, specifically pertaining to standardized tests. (Now, if you don't know my opinion, on standardized tests, that's a topic for another day. Perhaps I'll just forward you some of my college papers). In case you didn’t know, or cannot tell, I am not a fan of national standardized testing, and since I did my senior thesis on the history of No Child Left Behind (NCLB), I consider myself pretty much an expert on the topic. Not really, but sort of.
       Side story: My teacher for my senior thesis class was a JERK and a half, yet I still liked her. She was tough. Her motto was, “You don’t know how high you can jump until someone raises the bar.” True, but, I have a bad knee lady, I don’t want to jump! One time when I went into her office, she told me how the first part of my paper was so boring “No one would ever want to read it.” I thought to myself, well who the crap cares lady, I didn’t ask you if you WANTED to read it, since you’re my teacher you HAVE to read it, so SUCK IT UP and READ IT! But of course I didn’t. I cried. Then when she saw the tears in my eyes she said I had no reason to be crying. She said that a classmate of mine had had her baby sick in the hospital, and that was a reason to cry. I wanted to say, “Oh ya? Well I have two babies sick in the hospital! You don't even know me!” But, I didn't, I just tried to stop crying. Lol. But, when I got my final paper back, her final comment was that I should go into education policy because my paper was really good. And I know, the only reason I had done so well, was because she demanded so much out of us. By the end of her class, I was ready to go out and set the high jump to twelve feet. 
            Anyways….back to my first thought: I think making teachers responsible for their students’ standardized test scores is absolutely, positively, ridiculous! Now, I am sure we have a lot of crappy teachers out there, I’m not dumb. But what about all the crappy parents?! That’s right, I said it, there are some really crappy parents out there. Who, don’t take any responsibility for their child’s learning and education. They stick them in front of a tv 24/7, don’t talk to them, don’t work with them before kindergarten on important foundational knowledge (such as their numbers, letters, or colors), and then the parents ship their kid off to school, expecting the teachers to be able to teach the child that information in an instant. Oh, and quick enough so that the child can be up to speed with all the other children whose parents took the time and mostly effort, to teach their children. And of course, when many of these children fall behind, which is understandably natural, people blame the teachers. I say people, because it is everyone: parents, the government, educators and non-educators. Hello American parents: It’s time for YOU to take responsibility for your child’s learning TOO! I said “too” because I think both parents and educators are responsible for a child’s learning. Don’t agree with me on this? I don’t really care, because I’ve seen it over and over again. Unfortunately, with some people who are very close to me.
        Children just aren’t on an equal playing ground, so how can teachers be expected to be held accountable for that? My mom used to bring food to school because some students came to school hungry. This is a very sad problem. So tell me, how can a child who has not had anything to eat that morning, be expected to learn as much as a child who has had a breakfast, and, with his or her tummy full, is ready to learn. Here’s the answer: they can’t.
       Also, some children just can’t learn up to speed like others. Case and point, my beautiful, fun, kind, sweet, and mostly, outrageously ridiculous, nephew Christian. We have kept him in regular ed to help him learn social skills, but, he is so behind (a few reasons why), he will never be grade level with his peers. For example, he started 5^th grade with a 1^st grade reading level.
       And, not to mention, standardized test are not and should not be used to assess and measure a child’s knowledge!!
      Ok, so this turned into an anti-standardized testing rant, but it was really meant to say, let’s not only blame the educators here. And, really, make their pay based off of standardized test scores? Uh no. You’re an idiot.
Ps: After talking to Jeff about this post, he did bring up some good points. He said he agreed with some of my points but not with my conclusion. He said, there should be national expectations, but local evaluations. I'll drink to that. Haha. I don't even know what that phrase means, but I agree with that. 
PPs. The final conclusion of my thesis was that the problem with education policies being made in Washington is that educators are being left out of the creation of these policies. Educators, should be the keystone to education policies. Not, big corporations and politicians.

-I LOVE Pandora radio! So cool!!

- I LOVE my iPhone! Yes, I am admitting it. Allie and others who heard my opinion on it, don't judge me. Haha. It is my best bud now.

-I would actually like to go into education policy, I feel so passionate about it. On that note, I have done absolutely nothing to move forward with my own dream of becoming a teacher. I haven't taken the second praxis.Why? Because I am scared and lazy. Teach for America contacted me, which not gonna lie, I felt pretty cool about once I realized it wasn't a mass e-mail they sent me. I talked to the representative and she was very down to earth. She was from Tahoe! A sure sign I should apply, I think. She has been really supportive. But... I still haven't applied. Why? Because I am lazy, scared, and other crap. I am really comfortable with not going to school. It's been a year since I have graduated. Crazyness. I am dumb to not move forward, but I feel like I have to choose between being a mom and my career. And, that's all I am going to say on that.

-Uh, my sister Ana got married! Crazy!!It was soooooo great! We planned it in less than two weeks! Thanks to everyone who made it such a HUGE success. Perhaps one day I will post pictures. It was so much fun!!! I am so grateful to my friends. I planned a wedding from Philly, crazy. But, it was done and done with major success! It was fun. If I was actually a nice person under stress, I might consider event planning. However, since I am not, I better not.

-Work is good. Been with two really cute little boys lately! They have made my life great. I love Michael and Sev! So cute. I actually am ok with having boys now thanks to them.

-We are liking our new place. I like the house, neighbors, and ward. Although, I do miss Roxborough a lot.
- I have been a sicky for awhile. Doing better now. Yay.
- I'd sure be nice if I had my nieces or nephews here to keep my smiling :) Being an aunt is my favorite role!
-Yay for Brit and zumba!
-Yay for having a house to put up holiday decorations!
-Temple is dumb. They removed part of my access to my student portal. Now I can't see my transcripts/grades or my student finances. So dumb. You are really dumb. You are so dumb. Home boy.
-I love my mommy.
-I heard my brother Kevin's life story. Holy cow, so sad!
-Probably won't qualify for food stamps in January. Whaaaa!! :( 
-I am so sensitive to things I hear and see. I have terrible dreams.
-It's weird having tv now. But, I do like it.... kind of.
-Tk and Basuta are cool. :)

I better stop now or people will kill me. Congrats and thanks if you made it to the end of this post.
Love,
      Me :)